The night that was... Pratyusha Banerjee

Lying comfortably on my reclining chair, I look at the ceiling.
My eyes are still. As I lie still.
No I am not dead.I am alive! I am breathing.
My eyes are still... But my heart is pumping.

Lying comfortably on my reclining chair, what am I thinking!
My mind is blank. There are no thoughts.
Only silence!
The silence that is slowly...erasing my presence.
Softly...precisely...it is entering inside...
It holds my hand...from the chair as I arise...
I move to the shelf...pick a photograph of mine...
I see the star of television as she shine...
I hold it for a while...May be for the last time...I smile.

Another photograph...my parents hugging me tight.
I kiss the frame whispering - "you will be all right"!

I move towards the big frame hanging from the wall.
Here is me holding hands of a man...so tall.
Tall and handsome. Smiling wide.
A man who had so much inside.
So much to hide.
The love I used to see in the eyes of this man...so deep.
Deep and True. Shining bright.
The love - that today is a fright.
So much of fight.

I smile wide as I move back towards my reclining chair.
The end is near!
This sleep will take me far, far from the fear...
of losing this fight... !
This fight with him....of truth & trust.
A small town girl...I tried hard to adjust.
Smiled when he smiled... Cried when he cried.
No matter how hard I tried...
He lied!
Feelings were a lie... Promises were a lie.
No, but that is not the reason why I chose to die!

I am tired. Tired with the burden.
Of being a perfect daughter...perfect partner...perfect woman.
Let me be a human.
Let me travel in peace...let me reside in heaven!

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