What can you do for me TODAY?
Who says we, the emotional creatures, live in past? We live in present, especially because we are into the habit of being judgmental.
This article owes its origin to a situation I got in last evening. One of my colleagues requested me to come with her to shopping. I was not well, not in mood, too tired after the full day work and so I politely refused. She got upset. “You always have issues in accompanying me. With others you would happily go,” she burst out.
There would have been at least 50 such occasions in last five years, since I have known her, that I would have accompanied her to shopping, temples, hospitals etc. But just because I refused once, it meant I have issues. Yes, this on-the-spot judgment was passed on a ‘current’ situation, which had no connection with the past.
It is like “Forget what you did for me in past. What can you do for me today?”
This reminds me when once I called up this friend to wish her on her birthday. “Oh my God, where have you been? You have forgotten me. You never call,” she exploded. I never call! This judgment- because I used to call her quite often but being quite tied up last month, was calling her after 3 weeks.
Every moment you are under a test, meeting expectation of someone around you. You miss ‘one’ and bingo…you get the title of being insensitive.
You ‘always’ do this…you ‘never’ do that!
Someday preoccupied with some thoughts, if you miss greeting a neighbor in the elevator - “Why do you always ignore me?” is what you get to hear. Forget that in the past 3 years you have been the first one to greet her!
Someday you miss adding salt to the Onion Pakodas… “When will you learn cooking?” is what the husband says. Forget about 100 such occasions in past when he would have been all in praises for your cooking skills.
Someday you accidently hit the painting board of a friend at art class and that stamps your forehead with his judgment “You are jealous of him and so you tried spoiling his work.” No matter if in past you have helped him improve his art, lent him your brushes and colours, helped him with new ideas.
Your one failure, one mistake, one refusal- made in a casual (an unintentional) manner, can rule out all the good you have done in past. For them it is the present that decides: ‘Who you are- What you are’!