In Search......

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In Search of Myself...


Living each day and each moment, I feel as if I am in search of myself.

How can I claim to know others, when I am not sure who and what I am!

I am in search –

What makes me happy?

Is it the peace, the smiles on faces around me, gifts, good words, delicious food, a journey to a new place, watching TV, reading, sleeping…what??

I am not sure…. because at times all these things fail to make me happy… and that is when I feel… I am yet in search.

What makes me sad?

Is it the difficulties of life, the tears, pain, failures, other’s misunderstandings, a crack in my favourite flower-pot, a friend going far….what??

I am not sure…because at times all these things appear too small to make me sad…and that is when I feel…. I am yet in search.

I am in search of myself…

I want to know what makes me happy and sad. I want to know my aim, my duties…. my demerits, plus-points and my priorities.

I want to know myself, so that then I can claim to know others.






Comments

"just for you" said…
Life is such a journey where the destinations are not pre-decided and you need to walk on the paths which you feel right at that very moment. So, there will be so many ups and downs, and in the midst of it, it will be hard to explore everything about you, because you'll change your way here and there when required.

But since you are in search of "U", sometime or other, u'll surely be able to find yourself. I m sure about it. U keep walking....and never stop. Dont look back to see what you left, look ahead what you need to strive for.
April 24, 2007 at 11:50 PM
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प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

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तुम उस तूफान से बड़े हो,
उस दरिया से भी गहरे हो।
सौ साल पुराने उस बरगद के पेड़ से भी विशाल,
एक-एक डाल विकराल।

सुना था प्रेम प्रवीण होता है,
मधुर, कोमल, सुंदर, शालीन होता है।
फिर मेरा वाला इतना कठोर कैसे,
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

यहां ना चाँद से मेरी बराबरी की जाती है,
ना तारे तोड़ लाने की बात कही जाती है।
गीतों और कविताओं में कहां संवाद होते हैं।
कहां पलकों के उठने-गिरने पर लोग बर्बाद होते हैं।

यहां वही समावेश है जो संभव है।
चल पडूँ मैं कल्पनाओं की ओर कैसे?
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

दूर है तो दर्द है, पास है तो प्यास है।
हाँ, सभी धागों में ये धागा थोड़ा खास है,
लेकिन ये आभास है,
कि धूप की कोमल किरण नहीं, ये प्रचंड प्रकाश है।

यहां वहीं छाव है जहां ताप है।
इस जलन में जी सकूंगी जीवन कैसे?
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

स्वीकार अगर ना भी करूं इस परिवेश को,
भेज दूँ प्रेमी को संबंध-विच्छेद संदेश तो,
तो भी क्या मन विकल ना होगा,
ये विषम बोझ बोझल ना होगा।

यहां वहीं सुख है जहां संताप है।
समझूँ तो जोड़ूंगी कुछ और पंक्तियाँ फिर से।
कि प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है …
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To be now, like it was then.
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The Colour of Imagination!

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The white canvas stands opposite me… As I hold the board of various bright colours… Still deciding on the first stroke…!
White can adapt any colour…any combination… Yet I fail to make a selection…!
This makes me wonder… Do I prefer it as it is…Serene, pure and clear…?
“What if I paint you red…?” I ask the canvas. The colour symbolizing two opposite extremes...of love and hatred…! “No, I have never been on the edges, I keep a balance…,” you rightly said!
“What if I paint you blue…?” I ask again. The colour of tranquility, royalty and freedom…! You are not convinced, “The uproar inside me also needs a presentation!”
“What about pink...?” I inquire. The colour of innocence, beauty and optimism…! You smile and say, “You want me to own the trait of feminism?”…
“Ok then the colour green…?” I say. The colour of nature, life, self respect and grace…! “But it holds a thin line of jealousy as well...,” you state.
Finally you question- “Why do you want to limit my horizon… A colour would only restrict my imagination…
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