In Search......

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In Search of Myself...


Living each day and each moment, I feel as if I am in search of myself.

How can I claim to know others, when I am not sure who and what I am!

I am in search –

What makes me happy?

Is it the peace, the smiles on faces around me, gifts, good words, delicious food, a journey to a new place, watching TV, reading, sleeping…what??

I am not sure…. because at times all these things fail to make me happy… and that is when I feel… I am yet in search.

What makes me sad?

Is it the difficulties of life, the tears, pain, failures, other’s misunderstandings, a crack in my favourite flower-pot, a friend going far….what??

I am not sure…because at times all these things appear too small to make me sad…and that is when I feel…. I am yet in search.

I am in search of myself…

I want to know what makes me happy and sad. I want to know my aim, my duties…. my demerits, plus-points and my priorities.

I want to know myself, so that then I can claim to know others.






Comments

"just for you" said…
Life is such a journey where the destinations are not pre-decided and you need to walk on the paths which you feel right at that very moment. So, there will be so many ups and downs, and in the midst of it, it will be hard to explore everything about you, because you'll change your way here and there when required.

But since you are in search of "U", sometime or other, u'll surely be able to find yourself. I m sure about it. U keep walking....and never stop. Dont look back to see what you left, look ahead what you need to strive for.
April 24, 2007 at 11:50 PM
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प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

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तुम उस तूफान से बड़े हो,
उस दरिया से भी गहरे हो।
सौ साल पुराने उस बरगद के पेड़ से भी विशाल,
एक-एक डाल विकराल।

सुना था प्रेम प्रवीण होता है,
मधुर, कोमल, सुंदर, शालीन होता है।
फिर मेरा वाला इतना कठोर कैसे,
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

यहां ना चाँद से मेरी बराबरी की जाती है,
ना तारे तोड़ लाने की बात कही जाती है।
गीतों और कविताओं में कहां संवाद होते हैं।
कहां पलकों के उठने-गिरने पर लोग बर्बाद होते हैं।

यहां वही समावेश है जो संभव है।
चल पडूँ मैं कल्पनाओं की ओर कैसे?
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

दूर है तो दर्द है, पास है तो प्यास है।
हाँ, सभी धागों में ये धागा थोड़ा खास है,
लेकिन ये आभास है,
कि धूप की कोमल किरण नहीं, ये प्रचंड प्रकाश है।

यहां वहीं छाव है जहां ताप है।
इस जलन में जी सकूंगी जीवन कैसे?
प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है ये?

स्वीकार अगर ना भी करूं इस परिवेश को,
भेज दूँ प्रेमी को संबंध-विच्छेद संदेश तो,
तो भी क्या मन विकल ना होगा,
ये विषम बोझ बोझल ना होगा।

यहां वहीं सुख है जहां संताप है।
समझूँ तो जोड़ूंगी कुछ और पंक्तियाँ फिर से।
कि प्रेम ही है या प्रेम सा कुछ और है …
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Time Tells

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The love of now isn't the love of then.
My arms heavier, your cheeks chubbier.
My lenses thick, you walk with stick.
My hair dyed, your teeth prescribed.
My hands trembling, your lips quivering.
And love... Struggling.
To be now, like it was then.
Too old we are...for restoration.
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Acceptance

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Image
This November as I peep out of my window, searching for the signs of Winter,
the city smiles at my imprudence...

It throws some rays of burning sun, The salted wind and sandy cram
Introducing itself to me all over again,
Repeating its name, repeating its name

“I have given you the power to earn, Strengthened your feet to stand, to run
I have given you the shelter, the haven,
The today and tomorrow of success and fun’

I have accepted you with open arm, Have showered on you all my charm.
Yet you feel detached – disconnected,
It makes me sad, I feel offended.”

This November as I peep out of my window, searching for the signs of Winter, the city puts me under several allegations.

“Accept me” it pleads, but I am lost in my own reflections. “You are right’ I begin, “but even I am not wrong.
The impression of something on me is rather more strong.

I am longing for my town, my native destination
I miss its warmth, it love, its affection. You have given me the power to earn
But it has taught me my firs…
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